Tita Lea

October 7, 2012, we’ve lost you. You were considered as the most intelligent child in the family. You were five then, three girls and two boys. Now, your parents got only four.

It saddened us. We all know that our way would be there, death. But nobody ever wanted for it to happen so soon. Pretty sure that we wanted you to rest and be free. Free from this world of uncertainties, sickness and from the battle of life that was once wonderful. You fought, we know. You were strong and you didn’t let stroke consume you, even for the nth time. But then again, you’re only human; you got limitation and you need to have a way with comfort.

I was crying. I didn’t know where to place the sadness and the sudden turn of pages. We weren’t expecting it because we all know was you can still survive. You didn’t give up, I know. The world gave up on you, perhaps. We’re living in discomfort, in a place where a lot of things aren’t sure. In a way, you wanted another chance to live, to see how everyone and everything’s going to be.

Tita, we’re all grown ups now. We could still remember how you’ve been such a fighter, independent, intelligent and successful woman. Nobody in the family can do the same like what you did; and then there’s me, wishing I could achieve the same.

Tita, I know that you feel that you had your own fair of mistakes in life and I know that you’re up to a good thing if your life had been the same as the start.

Sometimes I can smell the flowers we gave you during your last day and I secretly hope it was you visiting us here. Mama and Papa will never forget you. Everyone might forget how you look like, how you smell, how the sound of your laugh differ from anybody else but we would never ever forget how you made us feel. My childhood memories are still here with me, I could remember the few moments we all spent together.

I wish you could still remember us. I wish you’re happier there, wherever you are. Christmas wouldn’t be the same without you. We’re not going to be used to it because nobody should be left behind. Family.

Tita, we did count the days and moments you were here and I still can’t believe that we’re now counting the days that you’re already gone.

We know that you’re happier now.

And then I still wish I could smell the flowers again.

We miss you everyday, Tita Lea.

Author: shainnehostalero

Shainne Hostalero, MDC is a social entrepreneur (owner and founder of Happy Shift PH), a communication scholar, and a writer.

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