Farewell, 2019!

I haven’t written anything here since forever but I’m very glad to share that I’m ending this year in a good note. Of course, like many of you, this year wasn’t perfect, we just made every single moment count and we only count those things that really mattered the most.

This year, I am happy to gain another year of life. I have finished my graduate studies, I was kind-of praised and satisfied of being able to do my job in the academe efficiently, and I have given the opportunity to create and explore more adventures with and for Happy Shift.

It was not easy. My road to #sablay2019 was not all rainbows and butterflies. I always thought that I was terrible at doing work in my chosen field. But I think what makes us survive is to wake up each day and decide that we will fight and we will do anything – you know, whatever it takes.

I know I should not be happy about eliminating some people in my life but it feels lighter to do so. I had the courage to ditch toxic people who didn’t treat me well in the last years. Yes, there was merit in apologizing to me, but let’s just keep it at that. I was able to forgive those who didn’t apologize as I don’t want to carry it as I traverse through the remaining months and days of the year and the next.

It was also nice to connect and have closure with some people who wronged me in the past. It didn’t necessarily mean that I still want them to be part of my present and future, it was just nice to close that chapter of them in my life. I have matured a lot more this year – I didn’t mean to be anti-social but I pretty much enjoy being with one to three people, or alone.

Some of the things I learned this year (plus the ones tested through the years):

Do not reply to people you have already gotten out of your system 
It will not change a bit. It will just perhaps feel a little exciting because you haven’t talked to them for so long, but be it known that you have already survived not to be in contact with these people – I don’t think there’s still a need to be chummy.

You talked a bit, say your sorries and that’s it. Let life do it course. You don’t expect to be part of their lives because… their SOs Instagram account (if and when you follow) can explain why. It will turn out, they’re just the same a**holes. Only now that they are softer (not kinder), but still a to the hole (or you know, DDS).

Your boss’s attitude won’t change
If your boss is 40 or over 40 years old, he/she will not change. Not one bit. Unless he/she has the will to do so for the greater good. Other than, he/she will remain as is for the rest of your lives; so better get yourself together and work on doing your job properly. Prosper on your own, grow in your own phase, and learn things your style. Don’t wait for your boss’s encouragement. Lucky you are if you found a supportive one, but if you haven’t yet (like me), don’t cry and rant so much about it on the corner, you do you. Better yet, be your own boss – I am my own boss as I run my own enterprise and have made a compact with the universe that, nope, I will never be a bruha.

Choose your friends and treat them well
Have you ever been in a friendship where you feel like you are doing all the effort to meet, to talk, to confide, or simply connect? I was there until I’ve decided the other way around. While I know that distance in friendship doesn’t matter and that we don’t have to talk every minute of the day just to prove that we’re still friends, I’d also like to know if you still care enough to reach out especially during special moments.

Friends are often connected through social media as well. So, reaching out is not a chore to do as it is easier to do it now. Why do back then we send letters written on cute stationaries with a stamp? Why now that it’s free, we don’t even send virtual stickers or even Gifs to each other?

I don’t require my friends to give me back the love or care I give them. I’m happy doing that for people. I just want to know if you guys are still in the corner and our differences don’t get in the way of our so-called friendship.

Since now that I have a smaller circle, I can take care of them better. Most of the time, we’re on social media, I don’t see any excuse why I won’t check on you.

Steps matter – Fitness is essential
Since I’m extremely busy night and day, I don’t get the chance to work out like I used to. Mehehe. So I made sure to walk and walk and walk. Bringing a vehicle to work can sometimes convenient, but I find it harder to navigate with all this Metro Manila traffic, so it is still better to take public transport (even they suck) or work when you’re a kilometer or two to your destination.

My daily target is at least 10,000 steps. I got a good fitness tracker that I love and holds my life now hahaha (which I will share on a separate post). Taking of yourself is deemed essential especially if there are a lot of people dependent on you on a daily basis (people who work for you included).

You do you
Many people will tell you what to do and sometimes they won’t be happy for you, don’t mind them. You do you. You also don’t need to do what the society says, you are free to choose the things you’d like. You also don’t need to pressure yourself adapting to the norm. Do what you feel like doing – as long as it’s not illegal and doesn’t berate any people, you’ll be okay.

You want to go to that school, don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t. You want to buy that stuff you have been long wanting, purchase it — don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t deserve it. You want to eat that pizza because you’re craving, then go eat it. Don’t let anybody tell you that you ‘a moment on the lips, forever on the hips.’ Na-ah. Go, do whatever the hell you want. You are the only one who can put boundaries to yourself. But, don’t forget to make good choices, okay?

Comfort over aesthetics
I finally made peace with myself that I’m not really stylish. I don’t wear high-heeled shoes, and I can’t, too because of a knee injury in years back. I also do not like wearing revealing and body fit clothing – my early 20s were all about that.

I’m weight-conscious and I care about normal BMIs, okay? I’m 50 kilograms and I’m good. I don’t feel the need to lose more or gain more. Too skinny was never good. I like to keep my style as comfortable as possible. I don’t care about repeating clothes. I have donated and sold other pieces of my clothing in the closet and I only kept what I like to wear, really.

I also like my hair in a ponytail. If I have so much time then I dry it using the hairdryer. That’s it. I don’t need hair rebonds, straightening, or whatever. Black hair is also good and low maintenance. I’ve had my hair in color for four to five years straight. It was tiring to have the roots re-touched over and over.

Being presentable is better than being attractive. Well, for me. I guess, if you are really comfortable and confident, your personality will shine. I’d like to be known as smart rather than beautiful but dumb. And yes, getting into law school won’t solve your problems on the aesthetic side. My doctorate degree will keep up with my unstylish aura.

Time is always better than material things
Yes, a new mobile phone is nice or a new Macbook, JBL headphones, or a Gucci or an LV bag, but spending time is so much better. Our home is the most comfortable place on Earth and I don’t want to even leave it. This is the place where I get to spend so much time with the people who matter to me most, myself, my books, and my Kindle! Bahaha.

I don’t need too much material stuff. I’m going to sell it all after a few months. I’m happy to cook, do laundry, and play with Ashton afar from the intelligent stuff I do for work on a daily basis. Now that I’m making so much money (naks LOL), I’ve finally realized that money is not everything. Usually, when you are making that much, you want to make more. But, it’s different in my case. I’d like to give more, save save save, spend a little and that’s it. We can go back to spending time at home or elsewhere with our loved ones.

I’d like to update this list later on. There was more to this than I thought of the moment.
Now, back to my readings, my business, and my laundry. 😉

Author: shainnehostalero

Shainne Hostalero, MDC is a social entrepreneur (owner and founder of Happy Shift PH), a communication scholar, and a writer.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: