For the record


I know social media and the internet is already part of us and posting, commenting, resharing, and other activities are uncontrollable especially if it is done publicly. We all have different opinions, thoughts, and beliefs, and it is nice to share it with others and eventually know someone who can relate.

Since that is easier to comment without thinking, bash without knowing, and express their opinion without understanding, the turnout of comments, views, and the words that came with it really affect me not just as a person, but most especially as a parent. It then pushed me to somehow express my sentiment about the matter.

I have uploaded on my personal Instagram account a Boomerang Story of my son wearing a turban/headband. I have also cut his bangs since that it was already interfering his sight, hence the not-so-pleasing outcome that many people have pointed out. I am NOT an influencer or even social media famous, hence why it affected me because I only add people I know of personally and people who know me on that same level.

The comments I got were related to: I should not have my son wear a headband because he is not a girl (headbands are for girls); I should not ponytail his hair because he will look like a girl or may turn out to be gay; I must not have him wear female clothes because he is a boy in the first place and might grow into a gay one in the future if I continue doing so.

I have kept my mouth shut and did not mind such type of comments until today. I think it is enough to remain silent about this kind of issue.

Let me just reiterate it:

I do not care if my son will turn out gay. What is wrong with being gay, anyway? He has all the right to choose whatever gender he is happy with. What I just want for him is to grow as a responsible citizen of the country, not undermining anyone, honest, disciplined, principled, dignified, and has kindness for everyone he meets along the way. He can be whoever and whatever he wants to be as long as it is not illegal and not stepping on other people’s lives and precept.

My son is not born to please all of you. He is not born to graciously serve all of your egos and whatever you want him or perceived him to be. As his parent, I want to see him reach his full potential and be happy in the endeavors he wants to take in – gay or straight.

What I’m after is that he does well in life, remain humble as blessings come by, remain strong as challenges test him, and show love and respect to us as his parents.

People are so quick to judge about my son’s preference and mine, too. He is only one year old. Throwing rants about me as a mother and how I raised my kid is not for anyone of you to intercept. We have our own techniques as parents. I may not be perfect, but I would not let my child be harmed by people who do not really show concern for him in the first place.

It is sad, indeed. Some of you are close and dear to me and even considered as family. So what if my son turned out to be gay? Does it make me less of a mother? Does it make him less of a person? You can save all religious behest for yourself.

You all say that children are a gift from above. He is and he still will be even after he chooses whatever gender he prefers. I hope after this you may open your minds and your hearts to us who want and believe the other way.

At the end of the day, we all want to be respected. I do, the moment I did not mention your names. And, I hope you show the same respect I’m giving you to my child.

Thank you for your understanding.

Author: shainnehostalero

Shainne Hostalero, MDC is a social entrepreneur (owner and founder of Happy Shift PH), a communication scholar, and a writer.

4 thoughts on “For the record”

  1. Keep shining, my dear. Those perfect mothers out there who always tell us what is \”dapat\” actually have frustrations of their own that they just want to lash 'em all out to us. You are doing a great job. Love you!


  2. I'm very happy for you. Congratulations on getting closer to your dream :')You are beautiful in every way, and you deserve it completely.


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