Bosses can make or break us… and more often than not, they break us. Haha! Lucky are those who found comfort and friendship with their bosses. But for others who are struggling, have struggled, and will struggle, patience is indeed a virtue.
I’ve been in various industries as a marketing and communication professional and as a writer. I’ve been blessed with different good friends I gained along the way. In fact, some of them are my former bosses/supervisors.
But it wasn’t always rainbows and butterflies. There were also some experiences that I don’t wish to go back to even if given the chance.
Like some of you, there were also times I cried at work because of too much stress and pressure. I know when we all are in our glorious self, we say that crying at work is a big NO. But hey, it can get a little rowdy sometimes.
Stress, of course, is how we approach it, but most of the time it is unbeatable. Stress seems to have its own life and your boss appears to be the god of stress and pressure. We respect them, oh but of course, sometimes, when it is too much to handle, we wish we could say these things to them:
1. “You don’t own me!”
It may sound like a lot from a drama film you just watched, but it’s true. I’ve been a boss too. I’ve handled people. I’ve coached and trained them. I let be their guide and a friend for that matter. But, I’ve also experienced to be a subordinate and believe you me, once or twice in my career, I felt like I’m my bosses’ property.
There were times that I needed a leave because we have VLs and SLs to consume and he/she won’t let me because I still have ~work~ to do. There were moments when I know the team can survive without me for one weekend yet I’m still required to report to work even if I don’t have any part to play. I couldn’t say NO even if I want to because there goes the respect and there goes the employee evaluation.
We all need a job because we have bills to pay. How’s that sound?
2. “My lovelife matters.”
Truth be told, I had a boss who meddles with who I am with. I remember a Christmas party when my then boyfriend (now my fiance) picked me up at an earlier time (I don’t want to stay for the whole night, anyway). I introduced him to my co-workers and intentionally didn’t introduce him to my boss because… 1. Why? 2. It’s my prerogative, and 3. Again, WHY?
So, I went to work the morning after and my boss questioned me during a meeting why I didn’t introduce my boyfriend to him. I was pissed off and totally clueless on why I have to and why he was making me feel like I did something wrong. But then, out of respect, I just told him that I wasn’t able to because he was too busy talking to other executives and I didn’t want to disturb him. Acheche!
Another thing was, whenever weekend work comes and we usually render half day or early out, he always kept us in a meeting. There was one time, my fiance waited for me for six loooong hours outside of my building. All important activities on that day were cancelled because I was just sitting in a senseless meeting that could have been an email. Imagine the time wasted?
3. “I have a family.” or “I have a social life.”
Bosses, especially those who don’t have partners/spouses, friends or living with their own family, don’t understand the concept of why we need to leave early from work. We are all waiting for the end of the day so we can get it over with to be with our friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, our family, or just be our own self.
My friend had a boss who takes it against her whenever she leaves work on time. Her boss lets her feel that she’s inefficient because she leaves at 5:00 PM sharp.
I had the same experience, too. I had the privilege to have my time flexible. So for me to go home early and shy away from the traffic, I go to work at exactly 8:00 AM and leave 5:00 PM. My boss usually comes later and of course he goes home later… waaaaay later for that matter because he is ~single~ and do not believe in so called ~social life~ Imagine!
Even if it’s a deadline or patience, can you please extend it for us? We all have different wavelengths anyway.
The project will be finished soon enough and we are not behind from the proposed timetable. So, chill!
6. “Please reply ASAP so I can finish on time.”
You are raving about how behind we are on the project but you don’t reply asap to queries and other concerns so we can revise, omit, or change the inputs. Then you will rattle us the last minute. WHY?
7. “Work is suspended today. I don’t need to report to work.”
For those of you who are working in the academe, you know that whenever the municipality declares that classes in all levels are suspended due to typhoon or any other special reasons, work is suspended too. Then you have a boss who is #SuspensionIsLifeButWorkIsLIFER, so he/she will ask you to report to work on that day then let’s you go home when there is already a horrendous typhoon outside. Then all is well. But,
The end point, nobody will approve or sign the work you submit because… work is suspended, remember?
8. “I want to leave on the dot.”
Sometimes, there’s just too much. We all want to leave on the dot. Let us!
9. “It’s personal.”
Have you had a boss whom you don’t consider a ~friend~ but asks you personal matters? My friends used to tell me that this type of boss belongs to the feeling close category. Sometimes they do it because they want to know you (which is actually good) and on other times, they just want to appease you because they did something horrible. Perhaps scolded you, shouted at you, or power tripped you.
10. “Just let me do it.”
I know for sure you also hate a boss who micromanage. Like everything needs to be in his/her own way and do not believe how you do it and that you can actually finish it ahead of the deadline. Sometimes, you just want to breathe and reply on those emails, “just let me do it.”
We respect all our bosses that’s why we follow them and don’t say these things to them. We wish we could, but hey we all have learned to respect people no matter how evil they can get and of course there is the ~employee evaluation.~ What a motivation, right? Hahaha!
Not all bosses are evil. There are still many, who just like all of us, understand how it felt to be a subordinate.
Shainne Hostalero, MDC is a social entrepreneur (owner and founder of Happy Shift PH), a communication scholar, and a writer.
View all posts by shainnehostalero