Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life

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It’s been quite sometime since I shared a good read. I’ve been busy with a lot lately – family, motherhood, pregnancy, work, cooking, and studies. I’m currently finishing Crazy Rich Asians though which I’d like to share to you very very soon. Or perhaps share a new read that will benefit all of us.

Talking Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life (2015) by Mark Goulston is a very timely read today. We experience a lot of encounters towards irrational and impossible people that sometimes we cannot seem to quit because… 1.) they are our workmates/classmates/colleagues, 2.) they are family and/or acquaintance, and 3.) they simply exist for all valid reasons even though they are a bit off sometimes (or most of the time?)

Sometimes, we are the ones who are irrational and impossible. I think we all have our ‘days.’ We are not always okay to be with. Yet, we (personally, I) strive to be okay which makes a lot of difference.

I’ve been with a lot of people in my life – from the academe, corporate field, NGOs, friends, and so on. Even distant relatives who think they know you from head to foot and will judge you why you don’t have a kid yet, why you are not married yet, why your life is like this, like that, why you can’t be like this and like that, so much more than you can take. It usually happens during reunions! Whatta culture! Hahaha!

I’m blessed with a family that is not judgmental at any cost. They are okay on what you are okay with. They will advice you when there’s a need to. But most of those advice aren’t unsolicited. They respect your privacy and personal life outside of the family; well, as long as you know your boundaries and know what’s right from what’s wrong.

But, of course, I have my fair share of dealing with the contrary. Previous workmates and bosses who think they are above everyone else, entitled kids and teenagers who wants you to know they own the world you are living in, and toxic acquaintances whom you see as ‘friends.’

So, to keep our grounds and sanity. Here’s the thing to remember according to Mark Goulston,:

Accept that everyone – even yourself – can sometimes act or simple be a little CRAZY. 

According to him, even the most seemingly rational people have their ‘moments’ when they’re surprised by their own irrationality. So relax and enjoy the movie.

CRAZY refers to the irrational behavior which can manifest in a few ways:

I made a little figure for this so it is easier to remember and resonate…


Acknowledge your own issues is an important step in dealing with other crazy people.

The world and its people is already crazy as it is. So be crazy.. a crazy good.

Don’t try to argue. Arguing never helps.

Hehe. We all have our arguments with people – whether intelligent of stupid. Arguments usually happen in every relationship and I swear, couple can fight about the pettiest of things. But how you deal with makes a lot of difference.

We all had crazy exes. So crazy that they always got into our nerves when we were still in a relationship with them. Ever had an argument that never stop? The kind of argument when your former partner/partner calls you in the office landline just to argue and make his/her point? Sure thing, it drives you nuts. Better let go that toxic person then.

Maturity doesn’t come with age. Whether the person is older than you for a few or drastic amount of years, if he or she is not mature enough, he/she is just going to be a burden in your life. Tap yourself on the back for not arguing back and not answering to any provocation. And give yourself the highest of five if you were able to completely eliminate that person. You don’t need that kind of negativity in yo’ life.

Choose your battles… Choose them wisely.

Individuals who didn’t receive enough love while young tend to be more pessimistic.

This is the reason why I double or triple time in motherhood. I want to give my children enough love because I don’t want them to cause me headaches by being so nega in life (and eventually other people, soon. I don’t want them to also sacrifice their sanity just because something had lack). I love a happy and bright home. And I always strive to create and maintain one.

We are all toxic and crazy at some point. That’s the reality. But in order to keep our own sanity and other’s sanity as well, let’s tend to be responsible individuals and manage our feelings. In this way, we can create a better, safer, and less stressful place for everyone.

Author: shainnehostalero

Shainne Hostalero, MDC is a social entrepreneur (owner and founder of Happy Shift PH), a communication scholar, and a writer.

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