The Power of the Other by Dr. Henry Cloud (Part 1)

The Power of the Other by Dr. Henry Cloud

I’ve read a lot of books in my life; and I’m reading quite a ton in the last 2 years, which by the way, good to be shared here. Every book I read is different and creates a big impact to me as an individual in all given characters – a daughter/grand daughter, a partner, a friend, a career woman, to name a few.

Words make huge sense to me as always and sometimes books can verbalize and interpret my emotions for me – especially the ones I’m having problems about. In this book, The Power of the Other by Dr. Henry Cloud, it showcased my pertinent emotions; especially the ones I don’t acknowledge or even recognize. The book helped me and support me to re-shape my mind and my whole being eventually realizing good forms and notes to take in.

I might have to do this in two (2) parts as I want to concentrate on the sections that really mattered to me whilst I was reading.

It says…

Your well-being depends on your brain, your relationship and your mind. 

With that being said, we have a full control of our well-being because we have the complete access to our brain and mind, that if created balanced and rational, affects our relationships not just with others but with ourselves.

Here are other important points that we shall live by:

If you want to live a happier life, you have to work on yourself as a whole. This means taking care of your mental health, which means taking care of your brain.

Consider it done. I’m independent for as long as I can remember. I really can’t remember when was the first time I moved out of my grandparents’ home to live on my own. It sure made me feel the freedom every person of my age is craving for. It was fun and still is fun, if I may say. But this being independent has its downside too. There have been so many glitches in this independent life but then I’ve thought that it all depends on me; and if I’m not going to make myself happy, no one’s going to do it for me.

I quit all the unhealthy drama and feed my mind happy thoughts to get pass through the hardest of times. I have worked on how I can be more cheerful and pleasant for myself and towards other people.

Your success and well-being also depend on your relationships. 

 I’ve made myself not just physically strong but mentally strong most specially. I’ve eliminated things and people who don’t serve me right – even the ones who have been so dear to me. I always thought that perhaps we are growing up as a human being and this is maturity kicking in and sometimes… people do it apart. Their time in my life and my time in theirs have been concluded. It was a good story. It was a good experience. No matter what.

I took charge of my brain. I took charge of my mind. I have become optimistic more than ever and eventually become happier. In this happiness, I have influenced colleagues and more and more I can feel that people like to be with me. It made me glad knowing that they want my presence around even though I know it’s not something so grand.

I couldn’t feel more successful; being surrounded by my trophies and medals – my family, good friends, colleagues and life partner – is priceless.

Strong relationships help us cope with stress, overcome setback in our lives and even heal pain.

I live alone and I don’t get home to a place that there are people who can ask how my day went. In spite of, I keep my connection good (and even better now) with my family and friends even the stressful long distance between us. Before, I was thinking that I’m going to be forever alone and nobody would want me. I passed through this thinking and learnt to love myself more to give more love to people.

I have come to making my relationships stronger and by that I rarely feel stressed-out, sad, or even upset. It made me overcome setbacks and fortuitous events that, come to think of it, can get the best of me. My relationships with other people heal me in the most ways possible and in the shortest of time.

Unhealthy relationships, on the other hand, add stress.

I used to be in a very unhealthy relationship before. The relationship was one-sided and verbally abusive. I didn’t like it and but I didn’t have too much courage at that time to get over it and let it go. I felt like it was my dead end and I need to make it work or else there’s nobody out there for me anymore. It stressed me out – all out. I was underweight and sickly. I rarely get enough sleep. I was a walking skeleton and my eyes were always sad and depressed. For sometime, my work performance suffered and my relationship towards my family and friends went on a downward slope. It was so unhealthy.

By the time I got the courage to let it go and move forward, every little thing about my life blossomed. My career soar high and little did I know I was at the peak of it. My friendships went on strong and my I rarely have any conflicts.

Your mind isn’t the same thing as your brain. Your brain is a piece of hardware, where your mind is the software that runs it.

When you understand your mind, you can stay in control of your thoughts and better manage your emotions. 

Don’t let your emotions overrule you. When you really know what you have in mind and you can decipher it, you will have a better understanding on how you can react to things and happenings in your environment. Our emotions can get the best of us if not managed carefully. The understanding of our own self to interpret things in a more rational way is more precious than the other way around.

A lot might be at stake sometimes and all of these can affect our daily lives and individuality as a whole. But if we can have a strong mindset and develop better understanding to give things rationality, it will be better not just for ourselves but also for our relationships/people we value.

Author: shainnehostalero

Shainne Hostalero, MDC is a social entrepreneur (owner and founder of Happy Shift PH), a communication scholar, and a writer.

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